Becoming Momma

I am in the mood to prepare lists today - something to do with the arrival of my new label maker I think, which makes me feel super- organisey . In reality I am not very organised - my husband is the most vocal testament to that. But he was my partner in crime during my pregnancy as we aimlessly wandered into baby shops in various cities and bought whatever caught our fancy! As a result we bought a lot of things that till date remain in pristine packaging because we did not require them at all. I think it is best to only buy the bare essentials before birth and then as and when the need arises, add to the collection. Trust me, babies are fastididious consumers! For starters, get the hospital bag organised. That is what we were told and despite the family custom of not buying anything for the baby prior to birth (something about tempting fate I think), we went ahead and procured a few things. I am so glad we did, becasue our parents were not aware that hospitals no longer provide cute-s...

My husband and I treated giving birth  (rightfully)  as a rite of passage into adulthood. Into our footloose and carefree lifestyles came our little angel. The nine months before her birth were spent dreaming big dreams for our baby. We also diligently attended workshops and spoke to expecting and new parents. We shopped for cute little hats and swaddle cloths and onesies. We bought a car seat and stroller and began renovating our house to make it more baby friendly and to include a nursery. Then, post-birth, while still at the hospital, various members of the staff took turns to train us in bathing, feeding, cleaning the baby.   Trouble started once we came home with the little one - we had not anticipated just how territorial our parents would be about their grandchild. Or their insistence on practices that we had specifically been warned against (mustard oil massage, feeding the baby sweetened water for instance). It took enormous patience in that state of sleep depriv...

After the first few weeks, my mother returned home and my in-laws and husband went back to work. That is when I faced the challenge of looking after a baby while also doing my other essential routine activities. As babies grow older their sleep cycles are interspersed by increasingly long periods of wakefulness. As adults there is a limited time we can spend entertaining them (unless you have a nanny I suppose) - I mean I do massage the tiny arms and legs, squeak the squeaky toys, place colourful objects before my baby, read to her etc. But after that it must get extremely frustrating for the baby to be constantly lying on her back, unable to move or express wants or desires. So she cries and only quietens when we pick her up and walk around with her. During these sojourns I see her intently observing the walls and fixtures in the house or staring out of the windows. As our new born baby grew in weight I found it painful to be constantly holding her and walking around. That is whe...

The staff at the birth hospital had advised us against the use of diapers till the baby is at least 3 months old. A few rather horrific photos of baby rash was projected on a screen to demonstrate just how inimical the use of diapers can be on an infant's skin. All parents present there were suitably traumatised by those photos to swear of diapers for life!  After birth, my baby and I spent 3 days in the hospital in the care of the excellent staff. That is where we learnt the use of cotton nappies with surgical grade cotton pads held together by gauze to line the nappy. As the baby peed, all we needed to do was replace the lining. But once back home, we realised that things were not to be so simple. First, a three day old baby pees and poops far less than her potential! Second, the cotton lining that we stuffed our bags with from the hospital depleted in less than 48 hours. The husband and I then decided to be enterprising and make those linings ourselves. We bought surgical ...

We had been told that identifying a good paediatrician is critical for new parents. The pediatrics department in our birth hospital was the natural and seamless first choice. My pre-natal experience in the hospital had been excellent and we were impressed by the hospital's emphasis on letting nature take its course with the birthing process. Hence the sensitization towards breast feeding began early for all us expecting parents visiting this hospital.  But I was unable to breast feed my baby. And there began our problems with the paediatrician in this same hospital. This doctor, Dr. P was nice but I do not think he could really move past the fact that I was not exclusively breast feeding and was OK with not doing so. I did oblige him by sitting with the lactation consultant a few times. But when that did not work I thought it was time we moved on to identify how to best work with formula for the baby. But after each visit I would come out duly lectured on the benefits of breas...

I kept an open mind about labour and delivery through my pregnancy. Actually, it is incorrect to say I had an open mind - it was more of completely blocking out all thought on the subject. I did attend an extremely useful workshop conducted by my hospital that prepped expecting parents on the symptoms, the process and exercises that come with labour. The speaker, however, did not dwell on the quantum of pain - something that was on everyone's mind. Although, she did emphasise that it is a natural process that is well within the limits of human endurance. And this was the key takeaway from the workshop. Our baby arrived on her 38th week. The previous day was like any other day. My husband and I were chilling over a late night movie. Except, I took several breaks to take a dump. After about the 6th toilet visit, I had my husband quite worried. We then flipped through our notes from the workshop and quickly googled to check if excessive passing of stool was a sign that labour has beg...

I entered the third third trimester of my pregnancy somewhere over the Indian Ocean on my way to Kuala Lumpur to attend a friend's wedding. So far the only eventful time during the pregnancy had been the argument at the airline counter in Delhi that refused to 'accept' my fit-to-fly certificate because my doctor overwrote the date at one place (we did board the flight - I mean it was two lawyers pitted against the hapless ground staff!) Friends had expressed concern and surprise at my decision to travel in 'my condition'. It became a little tiring to explain time and again that I was pregnant, not ill. Second, my baby had been extra-ordinarily co-operative. I had none of the symptoms that usually presage birth. - I never got morning sickness or any strong aversion or even craving for food. So I skipped my way through the first 6 months poor-poohing what I saw as namby-pamby care that pregnant women subject themselves to. I ate what I liked (although I avoide...